#6

Seven months later. Standing in the living room of my new house I take a hammer to the nail to hang the last of the unpacked framed photos. Him hugging me from behind with his lips pressed to my neck. I hear the keys jingling against the newly painted front door- I know it's him, I don't have to turn to make sure. I only alter the frame to make it hang evenly. Black frame against a third layer of emerald paint. He enters the room, I smell the flowers before I see him- lilac, my favorite. A new bouquet every Thursday. I turn and meet his eyes and a smile sprouts on my face before I can say anything. He looks dishevelled. His tie pulled loose, top button undone on his white shirt that was crisp and new this morning. As I move to the next box marked "books" he comes over and plants a kiss on my forehead. With light in his eyes he asks me how his two girls are doing. I say we're fine as my hand falls to my swollen stomach. He puts down the purple flowers on the unopened box, drops to his knees and gives my belly button a quick and sweet kiss. She kicks.
My eyes open to my ceiling, the same white paint they have opened to all my life. My vision is blurry with tears before I realize I'm in my bed. Three long tears crawl down my cheek for the loss of the life.

#5

Blogging! Was a better word not available? Sounds like ridiculous torture. Anyway.
Crazy night at the Chang Compound. You never appreciate Howard Beach until your friends live there and you have to schlep yourself home at 2am. Then you don't appreciate it at all. I now know the plight of the Chang. Sympathy, overwhelming.
What's good, Internet? How you been? Whatchudoin'? The spring semester is creeping up like a ninja. Well, maybe not ninja, cause those bastards don't creep. They appear out of no where and kill you swiftly. I'm so glad all that warm weather is over and I can resume enjoying blistering cold winds and sub-zero temperatures the way the good lord intended. Give it up for the North-East! I am so sick of school it disgusts me. I've been a student for 18 years, I think I'm done. Paid my dues- just give me my diploma and no one gets hurt.
I'm so goddamn tired it's disgusting. More coffee I say!.... I really have to start saying that more when there's actually someone here to get me coffee not just when I'm all by myself typing in the cold.
So! Tomorrow is Martin Luther King Jr.s B-day (It's his birthday right? Not just, like, a day dedicated to him?) as we all know and in memorium I want to convince this guy I know to go to a public place and recite the "I Have a Dream..." speech. I only want him to do this because he takes of every M.L.K.J Day and does nothing every year. He doesn't work, doesn't go out, he just does nothing for the principle of the day. So I think a good tradition to start would be going to a different place every year and recite this great, historical speech. What? You don't think so? Way to crush my dreams. See, I had a dream too and you just seem hellbent on destroying my child-like spirit and wonder. Why?....why?
Internet, I want to wish you a happy M.L.K.J Day and I hope that all your dreams come true since mine are destined to shrivel and die due to lack of encouragement. You unsupportive bastards. Enjoy your day off you assholes, if you want to know where I'll be, it's at work, I don't get these holiday breaks. You'll have to sit me down on your lap some day, tossle my hair and tell me what it's like to have a day off. I hear it's like a Saturday wrapped in a snow day dating the Easter Bunny... What? What do you mean that's wrong? What's nonsensical about it? Shut up.

# 4

I eat meat. It's no mystery that meat is delicious and a good source of nutrients. There's nothing I enjoy more than a hamburger, Internet. I'm sorry, correction cheeseburger. If I could, I would roam the streets roaring like a damn T-Rex (but they put people in the funny house for shit like that nowadays) I dare to dream.
Why this random meat topic?... Here's the deal, I dislike PETA. I think they are elitist backward ass thinkers who are too concerned with saving animals to contemplate the real problems in the world. Children are starving and dying from cancer, natural disasters are in abundance and brother is killing brother in every country, continent and hemisphere. Why does it matter whether someone is eating meat or wearing fur. Is the way that these animals are treated wrong? Yes. But should people be attacked and criticized for exercising a right? What you don't have the right to do is run around harassing people and throwing red paint on people's personal property. Why don't they go down to Rikers and throw that shit on actual murderers? Do they realize that they are in fact killing more animals by destroying already made fur coats? They're just going to go out and kill more. A good fur coat can last you a lifetime but PETA's probably keeping the fur people in business. Funny how it's okay to destroy people's personal property. If anyone ever threw paint on me, I'd throw paint on them, their home, their car and their first born child (non-toxic of course- I'm no monster)
Look, I'm against clubbing baby seals, poaching whales and hunting for sport but there is always a line. Just because I don't want to do something doesn't mean that someone else can't.
Something like 75% or more of the animals that have ever walked on planet earth are dead. DEAD. Not endangered or on the brink or in breeding programs in your local zoos. D-E-A-D. Gone the way of the DoDo. And I have news for people we're probably not too far down on the list of extinctions to come. I don't interogate vegetarians for their dietary choices (to each his own) but I have been subject to questioning and judgement by vegetarians/vegans/whatever you call yourself (I don't know the rules).
Serious question: Why do you guys like your tofu to taste like beef and chicken? You don't want to eat the dead carcass but you want it to taste like the dead carcass? Why not just make it taste like candy or ice cream? I bet more people would eat it.
I'm a health freak. I eat right, take care of my body, don't smoke, limited drinking and workout every week. I am in great condition. I just got my physical results back from my doctor today he used the word "perfect" to describe my health, and I eat meat like it's nobody's business. So it's not for health reasons that I should stop eating meat. I'm probably in better shape than most vegetarians. People just need to realize it's not wrong to eat meat. It doesn't make you a bad person.
So PETA, suck it. Suck it hard. While you attack us for eating a cow, notice how no one's protesting on your front lawn to save the soy bean. I'm commending Kelis today for her hilarious and totally awesome words in an open letter to PETA for attacking her. This is just a small taste.
"There is no humane way to kill anything, let me start there. It's unfortunate but it's part of life. With that being said I would eat pterodactyl if you found some and you told me it was meaty and delicious."