#22

"You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with."

A relationship is a funny thing. You either give yourself completely and wholeheartedly to someone or they slowly take tiny pieces from you over time. At first you don't notice that they're doing this. Never see it at all. But one day you will. Suddenly you'll wake up in the morning or say something in passing and it will hit you. You are gone. Someone has been chipping away at you taking, syphoning small parts of who you are and supplementing the holes with who they think you should be. They never take the ones you'd be better off without either. It's not the sloppiness, the dirty dishes or the refilling the gas tank after you use the car. It's always the "loves", the pieces of the world that can make you happy on their own- little morsels of love and light in the dark. Your personality is the first to be attacked. Whatever characteristics someone else thinks you can live without land on the chopping block.
Discovering this can just about kill you. Having another life leeching off or your own could prove disastrous. After you've removed the parasite from your life you find yourself spending all your time collecting the pieces of yourself lost, fallen to the waist side. It's easy to forget who you once were. Changing for someone you love seems like a great idea at the time. But how are they loving the "real" you if they don't want to be around the "real" you. It's not love- it's possession. There's nothing wrong with changing for someone when it is the bad habits, the messy living, the refilling of the tank. That's change worth doing because it doesn't define you. It's compromise for someone you're sharing your life with. The real you is your politics, your favorite movies, music and books, your friends and opinions. When you've regrouped and collected, you get to know yourself even better than before. Because you are no longer just yourself. You are somehow better because you're the person who you started out as off the bat with a little extra "umph". You'll be strong enough to not allow yourself to be picked apart and smart enough to know when a piece is missing.

#21.5

C: you need a human sized purse
D: lol why human sized
C: not that hampster thing you carry around more space so shit doesn't fall out everytime you open it I could fit a 3 month old in my purse
D: have you tested this theory?
C: yes I take infants and shove them in my bag then I give them back to their parents and run like a mad woman Cause I"m pretty sure it's a crime what I'm doing
D: well, if its a tested theory, then i cant just overlook the evidence i guess i need a human sized purse
C: it's staring you right in the face just embrace it
D: the infant?
C: no
D: okay good
C: well they do stare
D: That'd be creepy

#21

So Internet, yesterday was 4/20 or "When Lazy Good For Nothing Stoners Continue to Be Lazy Good For Nothing Stoners Day" don't worry that's just the working title.
Maybe that's harsh but honestly anyone who gets excited about a date where the sole expectation is to inhale chemicals into your body, eat and have conversations about nothing should be beaten. It's okay they're high they probably wouldn't really notice at first.
I personally hate wasting my time and pot smoking is like top five things you can do to waste your time. You ever talked to someone stoned? It's one of the most irritating and frustrating things cause they think that they are making sense, are saying something smart or are being funny when in reality they are doing none of these things. I'd rather go down to the old folks home and talk to Gerry, the crazy guy who licks the walls and talks about the 30's cause maybe I'd actually get a good story out of it instead of making sure your dumb ass isn't harassing someone on the street or getting hit by a car.
4/20 is a children's holiday, like Easter and Valentine's Day. Unless you're a 14 year old sub-urban youth, you really shouldn't get that excited for an activity you already do on a daily basis. I don't see anyone designating a national coffee day cause I do that every fucking day of my life and I gotta tell it's glorious and doesn't hinder my ability to be a coherent adult.
I hope these freaks did go out and enjoy yesterday because if you did you're kind of a douche. See, April 20th is Hitler's birthday and the anniversary of the Columbine shootings so I hope you had fun giggling in your basement while killing your last 50 brain cells. I like the rest of the world was out at work and school being a productive member of society. But here is a twinkie in congratulations for making a bong out of a soda bottle with your friend Booger. And stop fucking laughing. No one said anything let alone said something funny.

#20

"A mind is a terrible thing to waste"

Internet, I've recently come to the realization that I am no longer in control of my thinking.
I went home to make my protein shake for after my workout tonight. So I do the whole thing and I'm ready to head back to work shake in hand. But I can't find my sunglasses. I know for a fact I came in with them. My apartment is set up so when you walk in the door the kitchen is the first room you see, I went straight in there when I got home- I went into no other room. Now, I'm going crazy looking for them, you know, double checking my purse and the counters, the table and even the sink just in case they fell in and I didn't notice. Nothing! They have vanished. This is ten minutes of searching for them. To be sure I start looking in my dining room and living room. When you go home you're typically on autopilot so I may have just walked in there and not remembered. No dice there either. Since all the normal places they could be have been expended I start the irrational search: dishwasher, freezer etc. And there they are. In my refrigerator. On top of my salad just sitting there accompanied by a brief moment of disappointment in myself.
I am becoming one of those absent minded frantic people everyone makes fun of.
Woe.

#19.5

D :lol quit your dilly dallying
C: though I did watch all of his shows from March in one day kinda proud of myself on that one
D: lol i want to say that you need to find something more productive to do with your time but watching colbert report seems perfectly reasonable

#19

A boy I once dated asked me what my favorite flowers were. I told him I wouldn't tell him since then he would exploit that and buy them for me whenever he did something wrong- he would have to guess. I only told him their color was purple.
Needless to say I never got a bouquet of flowers.